Experiencing the Holidays with an Aging Parent

November 27, 2018
family at the holidays

With family members living in different parts of the country, the holidays can be one of the few times when an entire family is home together. It can also be a time when you notice changes in your aging parent.

Middlesex Seniors and Holidays1

You may realize that your mother or father is not managing at home as well as you thought. You may also notice that changes in holiday traditions upset them because it is one more thing that they can’t control. Older adults may find it hard to function in large family gatherings due to changes in hearing or vision, and they may find it difficult to follow conversations due to noise issues or some memory loss.

When you notice changes in your parent, focus on the positive. Your family is together, and you are able to celebrate with them. A large family gathering is not the place to address your concerns. Enjoy the moment, and choose another time and place to have a quiet and calm discussion.

To make the holiday easier for your aging parent, try to incorporate some of their traditions into the holiday. Ask them to make a favorite recipe!

If possible, you could also hold gatherings close to their home, or at locations that are more accessible for older adults, and share a schedule of activities with your parent. Older adults tend to develop routines and may not respond well to routine disruptions.

Provide support and listen to your loved one, says Jennifer Cavallaro, executive director of One MacDonough Place. Aging parents may need some downtime between activities to recharge, or they may want to choose what holiday activities they participate in.

Senior citizen interacting with child at the holidays

For those who have parents living with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia, Cavallaro notes that it is important to realize that long-term memories often remain intact long after short-term memories have been forgotten. Reminisce this holiday season by looking at photo albums, singing old holidays songs or watching old holiday movies together.

Avoid starting sentences with the phrase, “Don’t you remember?” There’s no need to correct your parent if they get a name or word wrong because it will only cause greater stress, Cavallaro says. Instead, redirect the conversation and begin talking about something else.

“The greatest gift you can give your aging parent at the holidays is the gift of your time,” Cavallaro says. “In a society that is always in a rush to cross the next thing off the list, our aging parents just want our undivided attention.”

About One MacDonough Place

One MacDonough Place is an assisted living community owned by Middlesex Hospital. It is located in Middletown. For more information about One MacDonough Place, visit onemacdonoughplace.org or call 860-358-5802.

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